Wednesday, 25 March 2015

Rape & Abuse - A question of education?

This is not a story, but it surely starts with a story. It goes like this:

I often chat with a young friend of mine. He is a research scholar in a very reputed University. He would disappear from Whats App and FB often not to be seen or heard for long spans. It was one of his sudden appearances on Whats App, left me wondering about my destination as a socially conscious person.

After exchanging pleasantries, (and he is a very courteous person) I asked him about what has been keeping him busy. The university he hails from had recently hosted one of the biggest seminar and workshop on women's security. So I asked him whether he was a part of that seminar and the union which had hosted it. The conversation went thus:

M: Are you a part of the Union and did you take part in the Seminar?
A: Why did you ask me that? No I am not.
M: But why weren't you? I thought it was a wonderful effort by the University. In today's age where
      women are under constant threat and attacks to bring the issues of rape and abuse and attacks on
      women to a common platform with such good speakers, it was indeed commendable.
A: Hmm. May be.  May I ask you something?
M: Yep, ask.
A: Who are these people who abused and raped women?
M: (Being a socially outspoken person,I replied) Well these are the people who have lots of
      aggression in them to the point that they become brutally violent. Mental debilitating factors
      also work.
A: Ok. I agree but are these the same men or boys that you interact with everyday?
M: See abusers and rapers can exist anywhere. They have a problem as far as the thought process are
A: No, you are not getting my point, who are prostitutes?
M: Come on A, we all know prostitution emerges out of poverty and illiteracy. (here I too paused for       a moment and my mind was racing) But A, prostitution is a profession where as raping is not.
A: So answer me who are these people who rape and do not go for paid sex? Is it poverty and
     illiteracy only?
M: (In a complete counselor's voice) Well men, who are educated, comes from a good background,
      are culturally aware and have high moral sense will never indulge in such heinous crime. This    
     do not apply only to men even to women. ( Problem emerged even when I was indulging in such l
      long rhetoric sentences it sounded hollow to my ears) Well what do you say?
A: You understand that , I understand that but the ones who rape women irrespective of their age,
      do they really understand this?

To say the least I was stumped. I believe I am a person who believes in a semblance of what, we term as "Equality among genders". Then, when we preach and teach men in general about how they should respect their woman kind and how we should educate our men to be responsible people, are we really on the right track? Are we preaching to those who anyway won't harm an ant let alone raping a woman?
These are certain questions which A posed and he is all of 26 years of age and doing technical scientific research. Well, I am on my search and getting ready to answer him, because he deserves to know and so do we.


  1. Intriguing. I also loved the Q & A format, which made it easier to read.

  2. Not education or wealth, Mohua. More than anything else, it is about a twisted sense of power and control. And since as a society, women are generally viewed as objects to be owned or controlled, it makes the rapist perversely proud to have damaged something he cannot own/ control. It is also a form of revenge.
    Genuinely psychologically sick rapists are probably much less in number than the socially conditioned ones.

    1. Yes Mlvk, you are right. It actually makes me wonder where are we heading. Really need to take stock of the situation.